Explanation and Clarification

I received some requests to allow comments on "my" posts. I closed this possibility already a while ago since I received very "strange" messages and comments that had nothing to do with what I wrote. More often about Viagra, Prozac and other "stuff". Not the kind of reactions that I found fruitful. Somebody even thought it would be "great" to combine my name on the Dutch Google search engine with pornographic words. Although I have to admit that I am still sexually active I found it very strange and weird to read my name in combination with words that I would not have chosen myself. Can you imagine that companies ask me to organize or facilitate some of their lectures, seminars or conferences and find my name with these kind of words? 

My relatives, friends and colleagues laughed about it and felt in immediate need of oxygen due to my "vibrant (hilarious)" reaction. They responded : "Surrender and Release". 

Complete absenteeism of empathy. How wonderful to have friends and family! Friends from different nationalities, religions, spiritual traditions, sexual preferences and political ideas. What they have in common? Sense of humor, creativity, authenticity, love for dialogues, kindness, respect for diversity and last but not least: they are my friends. They show me without hesitation my "blind spots". 

I never forget that we celebrated Christmas (one week) with all family (6) members, 2 dogs, (1 Rottweiler) in a small holiday house. Lovely, delicious food, mountains, snow, great books, movies, music, games and a lot to discuss about.

I am sure, in most families Christmas is celebrated in peace and harmony. Not in our family. Ours is "different". Our family represents HUMANKIND. I thought: "let me try to change the climate". Be the change you want to see in the world. (Mahatma Gandhi) I asked my family members to make a list with behavior, attitudes, thinking, ideas based on concrete examples that I could change, for the better of all of us. 



I received a long (written) list and frankly speaking all of what was written was true. All examples hit it right there. Very specific, in detail, all my secretly hidden habits came to the surface. I had to take a deep breath and break and I thought: "I need every single second of the rest of my life to work on this". I reentered the room and my son said: "Mom, we could only do this since we feel free to do so". I watched all of them and I felt overwhelmed with love. 

(I am so HUMAN)

I feel blessed that we have different approaches and life styles in our family. We do not have the same believe patterns, nationalities, spiritual insides, political ideas, skin, eye and hair color, food habits. One daughter is vegetarian, I eat "mostly" only fish and chicken, one daughter does not want to eat pork, some other family members like to eat meat, WITH PASSION. It allowed us to grow beyond that. 

I can not deny being a MULTICULTI representative since this is deeply rooted in and part of me. I lived and worked in 5 different countries and travelled at least in more than 50 others. I feel grateful for the many invitations I received to celebrate different ceremonies and festivals. I highly appreciate all invitations of my Jewish friends to celebrate Shabbat with them. I always feel very much "INCLUDED". I love the song Yersuhalaim. I resonate with the word INSHALLAH. I feel attracted to the "old" Arab Stories. I love to listen to the mysteries of forgotten wisdom. I start smiling when I listen to the stories of Ganesh, Shiva, Durga, Lakshmi and all the other representations of Hindu Gods and Goddesses. Flamenco and belly dance are my passions. And their is nothing wrong with the Dutch "Klompendans". I agree completely with our daughters that every woman has a "RIGHT" to have at least one gay friend but having more is better. Bad taste? 

I still know that I introduced the principles of non-violent communication (Marshall Rosenberg) to students at Euromed in France. We practiced the exercises and laughed a lot . One participant asked me: "Are you an expert in non-violent communication?" and I responded: "Yes, I am. I can be in such an "aggressive" mood, that I really need(ed) some help. I am an expert and a beginner". 

Non-violent communication does not mean sweetness, "killing" our authentic feelings and emotions. It is the most honest expression of what is alive in ourselves. I experience different feelings such as gratitude, joy, anger, frustration, irritation, pain, love, compassion. I always felt that I had to conquer the so called "negative" feelings until I realized that I was not able to. As long as I wanted I was not very successful. 

I ordered about 80 books on non-violent communication at different moments mostly from Amazon. I paid for them myself. I allowed the participants to read and work with the books and to make a story short, I did not receive one book back. Participants distributed the books amongst their friends and relatives and did not have a clue were the books were. One friend, a professor from Canada, asked me to lend me one of my own (last) books and promised to return it back. Six month later while teaching in Canada, she explained that the book disappeared since it went from hand to hand. (It seems good stuff). I laughed but nevertheless I asked Marshall Rosenberg to publish his books on the virtual library of Euromed. He allowed us to have all his books on campus. I saved some money. One participant ones screamed: "I hate non-violent communication since now I have to blame myself". We all laughed. How well she expressed herself. How easy we all could relate and connect to that!

What happens with us when we stop blaming "the others"? What will be left of us? What is alive in us? Do we still exist? What when we leave and live without our judgments? Is there still somebody home? 

The inner self of every human being waits patiently until we are ready to discover it; then it extends an invitation to enter the luminous mystery of existence in which all things are created, nurtured, and renewed. In the presence of this mystery, we not only heal ourselves, we heal the world”

Deepak Chopra

Ones I was asked and I repeated the question for myself: "Who are you and what do you want". I responded intuitively: "I am the Cobra, the protector of the Buddha". Although I was not sure what it meant, I realized that I never fully accepted the Cobra. I thought I was able to create a "better" Cobra. A Cobra without poisson, a Cobra without teeth. A Cobra that does not exist. A Cobra that is not fully alive. I created a Worm. (Not that I have anything against worms). The moment I realized what I had done I fully embraced the "real" Cobra. The teeth, the poison, the spiciness, since how could I ever protect the Buddha without my attributes, authentic strengths, talents and skills. The Cobra? It is pure nature. The Buddha? Everything that is self, pure potentiality, authenticity, sacred and whole = wholeness = holiness. Does the Buddha need protection? You think so? 







 Dr Nhlavana Maseko, president of the Traditional Healer Organization




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