This post is violent and non-violent. It's me explaining what is going on in me. I take responsibility for the anger, frustration and sadness. There is nothing wrong with anger in itself. It exist. It has nothing to do with you. Neither with who I am. If you still feel pain while reading: Oberserve your feelings.

What is freedom? Is it possible to write something about it? Can we fully understand freedom? Are we free? Let us first talk about what freedom is not. Freedom is not the concept we have about freedom. The concept and freedom are not the same. I was lately watching and listening to some video tapes of Jiddu Krishnamurti in which Krishnamurti explained the audience what freedom is not. “You can never find freedom outward as in freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of choices”.
Who is the speaker, the debater, the one that expresses, the one that makes the choices? Are we  human beings free? Free from conditioning, brainwashing, repetition and imitation? How free are we? Speech, expression, choices, isn't at all the same as freedom. It's a method, a ritual, a concept.
We can not describe freedom, since we can't find words for it. We can only create, invent, come up with a concept of freedom, which is per definition no freedom. We are able to describe what we think freedom is. Is our thinking free? Free from conditioning? We talk about the concept of freedom and as long we are confused and triggered by the concepts, we are never free.
Some examples:
The Dutch second chamber member Harry van Bommel SP demonstrated against violence in the Gaza Strip. He squandered:  "Intifada, Intifada, Intifada and free Palestine".  He was criticized for the words used, not only by his counterparts, but also by the party chairman of the SP, Agnes Kant. They heard his thinking, not his needs.

The latest Israeli bomb attacks in the Gaza Strip. Many Palestine's died. Most are children. Some other facts: We all divided Israeli and Palestine. Historically we have built up, in the Western Society, a concept of the "poor" Jewish, the ones who almost died due to us in the holocaust. Hopefully we know that in the holocaust not one Arab was involved. Jewish people died since "we" were racist. Jewish were not the only ones who died. Homosexuals, Sinti and Roma Gypsies, Disabled Beings, Polish and Russian civilians were killed as well. The human species created a concept of us and the others. Superiority of some of us! More often in the name of God. By feeling guilty about what happened nothing changed. Guilt without introspection cultivates suffering. We are still racists. We did not learn from it. Our hatred, violence, envy and fear are not internal worked on and by not doing the work, these emotions and feelings are not removed from the secret hidden undeleted files. Victims become slaughters?  We changed politicians, parties, environments, groups, social structures, ideas but we never really changed inside. We are still the same people, full of anger, envy, jalousie, hate, frustration, pain and suffering. We still blame others for our suffering and unhappiness. We need to defend ourselves even when we are not attacked. By demonstrating against whatever attack, you do not change anything.  If you don't touch, observe and change the inside. You make it worse. It's better to do nothing at all.

Agnes Kant from the same political party immediately explained that her party is against all "intifada". Is she really?  If I go inwards, I observe "intifada" and therefore I can not blame van Bommel for expressing what I feel myself inside. Did Agnes Kant indeed never experienced deep inside "intifada" as an expression of unfulfilled needs?  She never had a whispering voice: "intifada"? I do! If I hear some politicians from all over the world, including the Netherlands, I think: "intifada" and my first reaction is trying to exclude these others. I know by being honest and by the experience of observation, that something in me is triggered and I can change this internal process by observation only. I can never change it by making others responsible. Is that doing nothing? It’s an internal action. It's the first step in a change process. I have to recognize what is going on, without judgment, otherwise I can never experience empathy. Not for myself and not for others. If I am not able to observe my own true feelings by neglecting them, how can my actions bring peace to others? How can I ever truly observe what is going on, when I deny, ignore that all what we created is done by all of us, including me, as part of this Collective Mind? I am this world. You are this world. It’s 2009 and “our” children still die by violence and wars. Every child that dies due to violence, aggression and war is a result of a sad expression of unfulfilled needs as Marshall Rosenberg explained. Of not taking responsibility for our own thinking, assumptions, believe patterns, concepts, communication and perception. We are prisoners of concepts, of what we call “ours”.  Our country, our flag, our religion, our military, our culture, our rights, our language, our family, our history, our organization, our group, our party and our sports team. I can go on and on. What else do we identify with? Money and status? Is this freedom? Did Adolf Merckle committed suicide due to great financial losses?  What about his family? He identified himself with money, position and status? What about his other needs? The needs of his family?  How many people, convinced of their truths, are spreading words of aggressions towards others, due to unfulfilled needs for safety, love, compassion, missed during a younger age? Even in the womb they experienced pain and suffering. We can change the actors but we continue playing the same game of destruction. Are most problems in the Netherlands caused by the Moroccans and other Arabs?  Muslims? I have to put a question mark since I missed the last debates. It might be that in the meanwhile the causes of problems changed for another group?

In France by the Algerians and “Racaille”? In the US by the Mexicans and others? In Italy by the Sinti and Roma Gypsies? Everything would be better if they wouldn’t be in "our" countries. All crime solved? All “whitecollarcrime?  All the Mexicans, Moroccans, Algerians, Sinti and Roma Gypsies worked in the Enron's of the world? “Crisis” wouldn't longer exist? Weapon industry is creating a safer world for children? Is investing in childcare, hospitals and education?  Matthias: 7.5 You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother's eye. We are in 2009 and many of us are happy, overwhelmed by the fact that Barack Obama is the first black president of the US. Do we really think that racism in the US and the rest of the world ends with the election of a black president? What's wrong with us? We don’t change by voting a black president! We don’t change, since we don’t observe the roots of the racism inside us. Fortunately Obama was elected by many US citizens for other reasons. Most of all we celebrated his "victory" since our needs for enthousiasm, clarity, safety and other univeral needs were met. More bomb attacks have been taking place. In India and Pakistan, for instance, and we think that we find the roots in the Pakistan – India conflict? About Kashmir? We can only guess what the connection is with other "fires" in the world. Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Palestine. Did we ever tried to see whether there are any roots to be found in India itself?  If all the others (the terrorists = the barbarians) would be killed, is there peace in India? Peace between Muslims and Hindi's? I know a Indian Muslim student that changed her fathers (Muslim) name to protect herself. Is that peace? Do we observe peace in the Hindu caste system? We are very creative in finding other enemies. Certain groups still have difficulties finding jobs. Was Mahatma Gandhi killed by a Muslim? Would all conflicts be solved in Pakistan if India did not exist? Was Benazir Bhutto killed by an Israeli? We always look for "outsiders".  Anywhere, since it provides us from looking inside ourselves and our own internal problems. We can observe an unacceptable economic inequality in the world.  Let's face reality. It's all a result of not dealing with our own cruelties, based on fear. We are not able to explain in a non-vilent way our needs. We have never learned how to do that. In the same nation, in the same organization we find examples of separation. It took the Belgium's in 2007, 9 months to create of a new government. In July 2008 the new government collapsed. Language problems? In organizations we organize human beings in ranks, levels and call it hierarchy.The one and the others (or better, me and the others). Managers in companies have the idea that some human beings need to be controlled. Not everybody of course. The ones with the "highest" position are seen as more responsible and more honest. The "lower" people have to be controlled by all kinds of administrative systems. We can't trust them?  What about discrimination? Who is controlling who? Our legal systems are sick as everything else in society. In Australia most prisoners are Aboriginals. In most countries we find specific crime groups. Are these people born with a crime GENE? You think I overestimate things? Science is searching and debating about crime genes. If we find these genes, I am sure that all of us have them! Our religions are all based on the same conditions and purposes: that is controlling and suppressing. "Religion is confining and imprisoning and toxic because it is based on ideology and dogma. But spirituality is redeeming and universal" according to Deepak Chopra. What isn't religion? Almost everything we create, think, believe and interact in is based on ideology and dogma. Can we human beings live without it? Are we sure that spirituality isn't another concept, another ideology? "Religion" is not at all the cause of our problems. It's much more fundamental. We are! It's the concept of religion created by us, full of ideology and dogma. If human beings do not change inside, spirituality has no meaning at all. I found a phrase in book of Anthony de Mello, called "Awareness" that I received from a friend: "Everybody with a Golden Heart, communist, religious, spiritual or capitalist" will not harm others. During a retreat the Daila Lama  was questioned: "Can you feel angry and when was the last time?". He responded: "Yes, I can. Last time when I felt angry somebody asked me three times the same question and I lost my patience". When I heard the response of the Dalia Lama, I had some "interesting" thoughts. I like to share some: "Does a repetition of the same question make the Dalai Lama inpatient and losing his temper?  What the heck I am doing here? How many times do I have to listen to the same "dum" questions". What about the Tibetan people? Then I realized the richness of his answer. Our biggest "problems" are indeed close (inside) ourselves and we never really want to observe them. Some personal examples: Why is "nobody" listening? Why does this person "never" respond to my e-mails, telephone calls? Why does this person lie about me, not knowing me at all? What the heck? This person is eating the cake that I had an eye on! How can "they" serve "me" in such a "miserable" way?  How long do "they" think that "I" want to wait. How can this person switch the light on when I am still trying to sleep? Did I pay for this nonsense? Can't "they" observe, recognise what "I" did for "them"? How can people respond like that? Are they "menos intelligente = less intelligent?". I can go on and on. If you don't recognize some of these examples your "enlightened" a big liar or both.

When I observe the wounded, dying children, I mean literally any child that dies, in this continuous battle of separating madness, I feel first of all aggression and a deep inner pain. My own inner pureness, wonder, innocence feels attacked and killed. I want to protect all these children, including "my" inner child. I experience the need for "their" and "my" safety, love, the need to express the joy of every living being. The joy for life itself. There is no such difference between these children, you and me. With every child dying by violence (including poverty, lack of medicins) we are death people. We have to observe our own "death" deep inside, to understand the meaning and to learn more about life and to learn more about love. Krishnamurti invites us to observe death, not the concept of death, to observe life and not the concept of life, to observe love and not the concept of love. On our path to freedom? How I feel now? In this moment? Releaved and grateful. I AM NOT THAT. YOU ARE NOT THAT. It's me and you suffering from illusion. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, children laugh and I listen to the I AM. The I AM in "YOU" and "ME".
For all of us:

Universal Beings
Wake up, love and life is calling us
Let's leave the nightmare
Switch the light on
We know our dreams

Deep in the womb of creation

Let's play and fly
Reach for the skies

Return to the river of silence


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