I did not write for quite a long time. I was reflecting on HEALTH.  I consider to have some evidence that health and a healthy person, society, world has something to do with universal/natural balance. Not complete BALANCE without movement, since otherwise the system is not in balance but rather death. What happens when we are out of balance? I suppose we start to feel sick, nauseous, stressed and we suffer from all kinds of other symptoms. 

If I observe the world around me as an ordinary person, not pretending that I am a medical doctor, I discover, experience many diseases and illnesses. Illnesses that are immediately fatal and chronicle diseases that are poisonous for our existence and lead to our death. “For You are dust, And to dust You will return” Genesis 3: 19.


Some cultures, societies, environments make us sicker than others. Some chronicle diseases we are not even aware of. Long term diseases, are silently waiting for a weakened imune system. Syria for example. It will not be an overnight decision of some government people to poison a large number of your own people by the use of chemical weapons. When it does happen we know this is like a heart attack or a spontaneous brain infarct. The wounds and suffering will be endless and disastrous. We watch it with pain and disbelieve. “What the heck is wrong with these people ?”, I thought. “What is wrong with me?”, I thought. I found a long list of human CIVILIZATION. Attacks in Nairobi, Iraq, Afghanistan, Mali, ………and unfortunately many more.




What happened and why? Numbers of people died due to wars, dogma’s, ideologies and not just caused by the Taliban. Sorry people that’s too simple. Investigations and (re)search should be done more profoundly and more evidence driven. The consequences of this madness, that is still going on, are deaths all over the world. If we watch the pictures, images, documentaries, we can only conclude that we humans suffer from deep routed madness, depressions and fear. We have had a first world war, a second world war, a cold war, an American civel war. Our human history is full of stories of cruelty, violence and aggression. DEATH. 

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. In the name of Allah and let us not forget the Buddhist that killed numbers of people in Sri Lanka and Burma. Some people (menos inteligente = less intelligent) tell us to die for: Our Nation and Homeland since that is what is most sacred to us, after God and the family. What nation? What homeland?



We are in GENERAL seriously ill. Out of balance.

Europe is concerned by the activities of the NSA and their impact on “our” PRIVACY. I was honestly not aware that their “practices” would be that intense and that their reckless methods impacted so many of us. I call it a CRIME towards humanity. It shows that it has nothing to do with the protection of people against terrorism. This is because of the misuse of POWER. It shows a complete absence of respect, ignorance of human rights and a deep routed power controlling addiction. As most addictions they are highly dangerous.

We can not even imagine how many people are working in these “technical” created highly advanced search systems. We have no idea who is working for these institutions. Can you imagine how easy it is to take your identity, change your banking details and create false imagines of  you? What about the economical, social and political implications? Our lives seems to be in the hands of highly unethical people.

Our lives checked and controlled by people with little consciousness. Can you imagine that the most CONSERVATIVE American can have an impact on our lives. The TEA PARTYWhat will happen with me when I prefer to drink coffee? People with little education, people that have very rigid ideas, people that have as well bad judgment are in charge? 

In their own circle they did not have any idea/clue that Edward Snowden felt horrible and would be able to show the world what was taking place. All the violence and aggression of the United States and all other institutions involved are against Edward Snowden and it shows how little we changed. It is mostly the MESSENGER that should be killed (or life time imprisoned). In the opinion of the NSA and their “followers” Snowden will be seen as a recruitment failure. BAD JUDGMENT. What about all the other people working for this “secret” institutions. What about people that want their friends in certain positions and make sure that positive files of others disappear or worse, create uncertainty or rumors about somebody? What about people that are reckless enough to change information because they do not like what you do, talk or write about? There is enough evidence that institutions take unacceptable risks when they have to hire people for this kind of positions. Even more risks than for other positions in “normal” organizations. Is it possible that we can already doubt the mind sets of people that like working for these kinds of institutions? What are their goals, their mission, or in their (military) language: their strategy? It is not for safety reasons. My logic mind is telling me that. You do not need to “check” 1.800.000 telephone call in one month in the Netherlands to protect Americans and “others” against terrorism. I am not sure but I have still some confidence that ANGELA MERKEL is not secretly SPYING for AL QAIDA

The reasons some organizations SPY is because they want business opportunities for themselves. Just imagine: The Chinese Government wants helicopters for their army. They visit for example an European helicopter manufacturer and exchange a “few” telephone calls; video conferences and  e-mail messages are send and…………….. SILENCE. A few months later the Europeans learn that the same Chinese Government bought American helicopters”. 

All in the name of ANTI TERRORISME. 

XITUS ACTA PROBAT = the end justifies the means

After 9-11 we (Europe) sold all what was always important to us. Integrity, Search for truth, Values, Trust, Diversity, Fair Trade, Privacy, Freedom of Speech and many more to a nation that is very, very sick. Paranoia and Megalomania are serious illnesses. The consequences? It brought us violence, aggression and we integrated the illness into our own systems. It is an EPIDEMIC. Not just in the financial world. As a result we suffer from a chronicle absence of integrity, respect, common sense, empathy and ………..a lot more. 

The technical possibilities are used with the wrong purposes. The focus is influenced by serious diseases/sickness. 

We still have human trafficking, organ trafficking, child abuse, sex slavery, weapons world wide and it seems that we do not find solutions for this. We are seriously ill. I am not sure that we are able to heal. The world of human kind is OUT OF BALANCE.

2% of the world richest adults have more than halve all the total (world) wealth, the poorest part of all adults have 1%. Since this is completely out of balance we have to deal with worldwide challenges. 

A lot of structures are created to defend this unharmonious situations. The business tradition we all are confronted with is imposed to all of us in their language: English. Academic papers, insights, ideas, articles, books are based on these kind of principles and almost always in their (by them ranked) journals. All created to defend the STATUS QUO

THE ESTABLISHED AND THE OUTSIDERS of Norbert Elias is still worth reading. You have to learn and to act according the rules of the established. A few DISSONANTSCOURT JESTERS is/are important to confirm the rules of the established. How tolerant we are! Canes latrantes non mordent = Barking dogs seldom bite. 


I do not want to suggest that I dislike the Americans. I was celebrating “drunk” the first time Barack Obama was elected. I have many American friends. I am shocked to learn that Vladimir Putin is according to Forbes the most powerful person in the world. 30 GreenPeace activists in prison. I read how the activist are treated. I know how homosexuals are disrespected. Freedom of Speech??? 27.1 suicides per 100.000 inhabitants. I am not sure about the number of alcoholics. What about domestic violence? 

China: Pollution? Freedom of speech? Manipulation of information? Human Rights? Natural disasters? About 14.000 pigs in the rivers near Shanghai? Minorities and their human rights? 

India: Pollution? Higher – Lower caste? Sex slavery? Traffic Accidents? Rape? Highest number of slaves?  

Total (estimate number) of slaves worldwide 21.000.000 – 30.000.000

About 350 death refugees in Lampedusa, Italy

I had “problems” sleeping. I do not suffer from depression, I do not suffer at all but something kept me from sleeping. “WHAT THE HECK WENT WRONG?” I asked myself, and even more important: “WHY AND HOW DID WE CREATE THIS KIND OF WORLD LEADERS?”. 

Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite = The people will get the leaders they deserve.

I use my “pen” to express what is alive. It is not difficult to neglect all our human darkness and pretend it is just in my mind only.  It is easy to change my focus towards everything that is going well. My family, the beautiful friends I have, the love I feel for the people in my surrounding. That I received my wallet back in a country (South Africa) that has according to statics high crime rates. The amazing view from my balcony. My daily walk near the beach. The deep gratitude for being alive. In the inner state, the self, neutrality is always present but I experience in my earthly existence that I have to transform (with my SPICY PEN) darkness into light. It is impossible when I am not able to observe and to experience the shadow parts of our society.  I feel it in my nervous system, my womb, my stomach and in many other organs. The pain of  human drama. Diwali = festival of light is coming. I am sure we can leave this nightmare behind us. We have to WAKE UP.

I am walking in the street and a colorful carpet drews my attention,similar to this one: 


I could hear the carpet calling my name. I listened carefully since it is rare that carpets speak. Some people even do not believe that this is possible. They never hear the sounds of sparkling water, the blowing wind through endless seas of sand. They are unaware of miracles, expressed in the colors and patterns of both imagination and reality. If you listen with full attention you hear the stories and the ancient secrets of the sages. You can hear them speak, sing and you can hear them dance.

I listen since I love to hear the long forgotten stories. It all started in Baluchistan بلوچستان) which is an arid, desert and mountainous region on the Iranian plateau.

Once upon a time in March in this Province a child was born. A little girl that was as radiant as the returning sun in spring. All elders agreed in the glorious wisdom that she would be given the name Sheedeh = bright, luminous, sun. In the circle of all women she was touched by love, warmth and with wisdom that ancient traditions have. Sheedeh loved it being with her mother,sisters and aunties. She learned from all of them. She was the radiant sunshine of the valley. When the sun shines with all her glory in the water of the Hamun (lake in this province) and it makes us speechless of wonder this is how Sheedeh opened human hearts. Sheedeh learned needle work, rug and carpet weaving and jewellery making.


In this circle of women the magnificence of life is present. Life expresses itself. In this circle we will find the beauty of their laughter, tears, the passion of their existence, the sounds of crickets, birds and insects.

The carpet whispers in my ears: “Tell about the MAGIC, tell about the glorious beauty of excellence and speak about Sheeneh, so that she will be remembered and will open all hearts”.

“How should I suppose to do that”, I whisper.

“At the moments of hatred, pain and suffering speak the language of your heart” the carpet tells me. “In me the SHADOW is present as well as the SUN. Life and death are the golden treads as streams of living rivers of circulating blood. Watch me from different angels and you will see that my colors change. All details of my patterns will take a lifetime of discovery. People will walk on me unnoticing the hidden secrets of the shining sparkling stars of heaven. The beauty of my creation is ART in BALANCE. Without balance the world will be ARTIFICIAL”.

Who can survive in an ARTIFICIAL world? Watching and listening to the carpet I know we will be fine, we just have to WAKE UP.










I showed in my writing that each and every one has an ability to be a Witness. A Witness in the middle of turbulence. If you read trough my posts you have an opportunity to observe all what is alive. We, me included, do not have excuses not to transform our actions from and by a Witnessing State. All of us can do this. We do not need weapons to prove how right we are and we do not need to convince others. We still can drink a glass of wine. It is not about that. We do not have to be vegetarian. It is not about that. We do not have to follow meditation courses, yoga and tai chi classes. It might help but it does not guarantee a specific outcome. Hopefully we have exciting adventures, since life itself is our greatest gift. We do not need to follow all ideas, life styles, or the behavior of the, in our opinion, “enlightened” beings. We are all enlightened. We will always have our preferences in our human body and mind. We have to realize that these preferences might cause challenges and wars, especially when we never search for what is beyond the right and wrong doing. That’s why I researched and witnessed myself and showed the process. Beauty and the Beast, Snow-white and the Queen are the same person. The Witness knows all of this, the judgments and actions included. The Witness dances, the dance of creation.

My next writing will be different. I have done my best!!! I am sure you will do the same. I feel bored and I start repeating myself. Already for a while. Nothing new. Time for a change.

I will write about Transformation and Consciousness. I started my PhD research theses on: “The Healthy Organization”. 

Painting by Margriet Smulders



It is simple to be a Witness in a beautiful garden. It is simple to be a witness in an Ashram, a temple, a spiritual course, but what about being a witness in all our actions in the middle of LIFE? 

Let us witness and let us act. Playfully since this is great fun after all. All of us have our heroes, our examples and role models. They represent some of our “wanted” attitudes, ideas, philosophies, dress codes, and behavior, ideal imagines and ……. whatever.

We follow their life’s, read their stories and gossip and before we know we try to be like them. The emptiness we feel inside is replaced by what we would like to be, instead of acting from our own authentic selves. It is possible that we (think) we know more about our ideal personifications than about ourselves. That is hillarious! 

I talked about myself showing my critical mind, shadow parts, first of all for myself but secondly since I believe that all people we like seem to have them. I am convinced they have all what I talked about. I have the impression that they do not speak about their own difficulties, challenges and this gives the impression that they on average are much better people. I doubt that this is true and I want to write about the negative side effects.

When we over emphasize on the positive sides of people only, it gives wrong impressions. The consequence of this is that we as “normal” people think that we can never reach that supreme state. We keep our heroes outside ourselves, admire them and we do not have to do something ourselves, since we “believe” that we can never reach the level they represent. Does that sound (un)familiar? This is what happens all the time. If our heroes would share their own personal stories, not only after they found (or pretend) having all the answers, it would be a much stronger message and much more helpful.

I really like Paulo Coelho first of all since he is an excellent author but even more important I like his search for truth, meaning and most of all because he is able to express what is alive in him. I recognize myself not only in his stories, but as well in his experiences.

I could find myself travelling by train through Russia, having a horrible headache and trying to convince myself that it must have had reasons that I am doing this to myself. I love the fact that he is explaining some of his emotions. It is not only me that is thinking in places: “How the heck did I end up here, in this place, with these people. Let me get drunk.” It seems that some of our heroes never had that. They were born “enlightened”? I do believe that they were born enlightened and I am sure all of us are. It seems that we just forgot about it.

If you look around, you can find a face of God in each thing, because He is not hidden in a church, in a mosque, or a synagogue, but everywhere. As there is no one who lives after seeing him, there is also no one dying after seeing him. Who finds Him, stays forever with him.

Shams Tabrizi

As I explained I receive(d) many phrases, messages, imagines, poems and I love the wonderful intentions. Many times I feel supported and smile when I read some of them while starting a new day or at the end just before bedtime. I discovered the incredible possibilities of connection via social-media. The rest of the nation is our neighbor and it is amazing to be connected with people all over the world.

Some of them make me reflect and think, others touch my heart. Although I love reading them and I trust that most of the people that send them, live them. I hope and wish this is the case, since what sense does it make to send imagines, sentences, messages and not living them. It is about the true nature of the messenger and not about the message.

Sometimes I have the feeling that the world is divided in certain groups of people: the ones that are excellent, remarkable and on the other hand we find the stupid, cheap or maybe even worse, the ordinary people.

I received a message and I want to express my feelings and emotions about it.

Honesty is a very expensive gift; do not expect it from cheap people” Warren Buffett

I am not sure that he really said that, but nevertheless I want to share with you what I thought:

“Why is this person expressing such horrible words?” Why should honesty be expensive? Are their cheappeople in “our” world and who are they? I travelled around the world and I was very fortunate to meet many honest people. How comes Warren Buffet is surrounded with liars? It seems that some of us have very different experiences. Is Warren Buffett always honest? Is he never pretending? It might be that he, in his opinion always tells the truth, but how does he know that what he is saying is indeed always honest? At least I found one phrase that doubts his truthful or honest intentions. What are cheap people? It truly bothers me. What if there are indeed cheap people, what are we going to do with them? Ignore them, exclude them, or kill them? What are we going to do when we really think that cheap people exist?

I read an article in the Big Issue:

By John Chalmers 

Luxury leather goods sold across the world are produced in a slum area of Bangladesh’s capital where workers, including children, are exposed to hazardous chemicals and often injured in horrific accidents, according to a recent study. None of the tanneries packed cheek by jowl into Dhaka’s Hazaribagh neighbourhood treat their waste water, which contains animal flesh, sulphuric acid, chromium and lead, leaving it to spew into open gutters and eventually the city’s main river.“Hazaribagh’s tanneries flood the environment with harmful chemicals,” said Richard Pearshouse, author of the Human Rights Watch report. “While the government takes a hands-off approach, local residents fall sick and workers suffer daily from their exposure to harmful tannery chemicals.” “While the government takes a hands-off approach, local residents fall sick and workers suffer daily from their exposure to harmful tannery chemicals.” 

Pearshouse told Reuters ahead of the release of the study that at least 90% of the leather and leather goods produced in Bangladesh come from Hazaribagh, a foul-smelling area where up to 15 000 people are employed in tanneries. It is a rapidly growing source of export income for the poor South Asian country, worth US$663 million in financial 2011/12, with China, South Korea, Japan, Italy, Germany, Spain and the United States the main buyers. “Foreign companies that import leather produced in Hazaribagh should ensure that their suppliers aren’t violating health and safety laws or poisoning the environment,” he said. Bangladesh’s industry minister, Dilip Baura, said the government was aware of the pollution and health hazards in Hazaribagh, but they will be tackled under a plan to relocate the tanneries to an area outside Dhaka by mid-2013. Human Rights Watch said the move to a dedicated site outside the capital was originally planned for 2005, but the deadline was missed due to bureaucratic delays. Also, the government High Court order to relocate the tanneries outside Dhaka and then ignored the order when the extension lapsed, it said. 

“Hazaribagh is a glaring example of how indifferent governments can be towards citizens,” said Syeda Rizwana Hasan, chief executive of the Bangladesh Environmental Lawyers Association. 

“We raised the issue several times with the authorities, made protests against the deplorable conditions out there but no government took any positive steps to address them. Relocation of the tanneries is on the cards, but the government is delaying it, apparently to appease tannery owners and ensure them maximum benefits,” she said. 

Pearshouse, who conducted 134 interviews during five months of research in Dhaka, said the air and soil were “incredibly contaminated” in Hazaribagho. He saw residents of the slum bathing in ponds that were black with pollution. 

He saw residents of the slum bathing in ponds that were black with pollution 

He also found that children, some as young as 11, were employed by tanneries for around 1 000 taka (US$12.30) a month. They were engaged in hazardous work, such as soaking hides in chemicals, cutting tanned hides with razor blades and operating dangerous machinery. 

Bangladesh exports both raw leather and finished leather products, mostly footwear, including high-end fashion shoes. 

Who are the cheap people in this case? If we would ask some of the workers whether they like their jobs, how do you think they will respond? Could it be that they will pretend that they like their work, their circumstances, since it might be that not having a job is worse? Are they honest? Could it be that Warren Buffett has not have a clue what is going on in certain parts of the world? Are there indeed Superior people? Are certain people closer to GOD 

I listen and read about what people say and I feel often very surprised. They talk about their “extra-ordinary” lives. Is there any life that is not extraordinary? Are the rich and famous more extra-ordinary? What if we think this is the case what are we going to do? Exploitation, suppression, slavery, death penalties and who has the final decision? The Superior people? Who are they? 

 “The whole world” talks about Lance Armstrong. From hero to “cheap” person? How come that I feel pain when I think of this tragedy? He was not honest but who was? The whole culture was about competition and winning. Nike: “Due to the seemingly unsurmountable evidence that Lance Armstrong participated in doping and misled Nike for more than a decade, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him. Nike does not condemn the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs in any manner”. AMEN

 Nike plans to continue support of the Livestrong initiatives created to unite, inspire and empower people affected by cancer. 

Nike: You never KNEW? I am sorry but I do not believe a word. I cannot believe that Nike never had doubts, that Nike never had thoughts. How come that “outsiders” were suspicious? Nike, I am sorry but I think you KNEW.

Why is it Nike, that you do not support Lance Armstrong in this for him difficult situation. Afraid of not selling enough shoes or other “stuff”? Afraid of the public opinion? What is wrong with the following message: “We as Nike are proud of the performances of Lance Armstrong. We watched him and embraced him. We still want to support him since we were never really interested in the story behind his succes. We never asked questions since we did not want to know. We never thought that it could be used against us. If Lance Armstrong is guilty WE ARE“. Is NIKE cheap? 

Nike: Hopefully you know what happens with the leather producing people in Bangladesh!!! Hopefully I am not waering shoes made in Bangladesh. 

As somebody born in The Netherlands I learned of the existence of Tanja Nijmeijer in Colombia. 


I would like to learn more of her story. How is it possible that a beautiful young woman from the Netherlands ends up as a member of the FARC in Colombia. Is she cheap? When the Twin Towers in New York were attacked most people, me included, were devastated. I cried for weeks. Could not stop crying. I felt pain in my heart, my body and I prayed that we as human beings would be able to stop this madness. The Government of the United Stated had a possibillity to show the world that this horrible event would lead to peace but unfortunately they responded with more violence. The fundaments of their believe system were attacted and the reaction resulted in more aggression and war. Could it be that what Tanja experienced in Colombia as well shook her fundamental believe system? Is her response more violent than what a whole nation did in Irak? How comes that I hope that Tanja will be able to reunite with her family. I hope she will never end up in a prison in the United States. Before you have a wrong impression: I do not like weapens at all. I do not think that violence is an answer or response. I open windowns to have insects out of my house. I think that the weapen industry made many innocent victoms and some people turned rich due to the deaths of others. I am not smoking, I do not do drugs, but when I read the horrible circumstances of a majority of people, I do not understand that I do not empty a whole bottle of Wodka. Sometimes it is more “normal” to end up addicted and “stoned” in this madness created by human kind. 

People ask me quite often what I think of Muslims and the Arab World. I always respond as following: 

“I trully believe that the Islam is a magnificient religion and has many remarkable and wonderful devotees but unfortunately it has, as all other religions, some very sick representatives”. I would love to see the incredible rich Islamic Arab countries contributing to a more sustainable and equal economy”. 


Meisje dat de Qur'aan leest

Little precious girl. I hope and wish that you are protected. I hope and wish that love will be the guidence on your journey. I hope and wish you will learn about peace, respect and compassion. I am sure you will. Inshallah. 

I was watching a video in which Richard Branson was “acting”.


Insiders know that I really like him and what he is doing. I feel that he represents the Magician, the one that is able to turn everything into Gold. I smiled, watched and listened. At a certain moment Richard Branson was explaining that he was thinking of a SAFE PLACE for BRILLIANT MINDS and I thought: “I did not know that he was a Witness of Jehovah”. I am sorry this is indeed very cynical. How is it possible that he has thoughts like these? It is an old pain. PARADISE for a HAPPY FEW.

Imagine the world is coming to an end. Fortunately there is a SPACE SHUTTLE, but unfortunately for most of us, we do not have an entrance ticket showing our brilliance.  



When I worked for a multinational, we had a bunker that could be used by “important” people in times of war and in case of a nuclear disaster. I always found it ……??? I do not have words to express myself. I imagined a horrible nuclear war and we all know that most of us will die. I thought: “Who are the people that will survive? Who are the ones that want to be in that bunker? Which group do I want to be part of? The survivers? Leaving other people behind? Telling others: Sorry, you are not brilliant enough”. Could it be that I prefer to die?  

I imagine the brilliant minds in a SPACE SHUTTLE leaving some of their children behind, since not all their children will have inherited brilliant minds. Some of the brilliant mind children will start crying and screaming: “I want my friends to be safe. We have to take them with us. I do not want to leave without them”.  How do I know? Since I feel already miserable leaving pets behind.

Why do we always want to be superior to GOD, the GREAT MYSTERY? How come we still think in competition, in hierarchy, in superiority? How come we are unable to transform into people that truly care about others, everybody included?


As an Actor I write about it. As a Witness I smile about Human Kind. The Actor and the Witness are one and the same person. I am a Witness in Action.





“Magic mirror on the wall/ who is the fairest of them all?”

We are surrounded by Miracles. As Marianne Williamson refers to in a message: 

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”

? Thich Nhat Hanh

I could never agree more. After I finished “my” post Lotus wondering about negative and positive and trying to find a creative idea I received some great insights and messages. 

You are the Higher Self, the consciousness watching, completely free and not limited by body, mind, or senses. Sai Maa

Be still and know that the center of your being has always existed and is here now. Sai Maa

Knowing Sai Maa she started from the unified field to mobilize everything and everybody to stop me from thinking as an actor. She might have thought: “How is this possible. How many times do I have to explain the birthright of each and everybody, which is pure consciousness and pure light”. 

Slow learner???

In you, there is an actor and there is a witness. The actor is either confused or decisive, but the witness just observes and smiles. The more the witness grows in you, the more playful and untouched you are. Then trust, faith, love, and joy all manifest in and around you. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

And after all these incredible words I received a message that was shared by Paulo Coelho’s facebook:

The Oxford English Dictionary defines cynicism in a very enlightening way: “…a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions…”

The main thing to notice about the definition is the presence of negativity. A cynical person will almost always choose to doubt, disbelieve or discredit, even when there is no logical reason to do so.

So why do people think and behave like this? There are many schools of thought on the matter – some regard cynicism as a personal defense mechanism whereby people prevent themselves from opening up to love and friendship for fear of being hurt. Others say it comes about due to a traumatic event that occurred in childhood and caused a person to “close up”.

Here are some super simple things you can do to get yourself on the path of positive thinking and away from those habits of cynicism:

1. Recognize the problem As with all problems the first step is in the recognizing. Some people go their whole life not realizing that they are horrible people with miserable outlooks and cynical views of the world. Thank yourself lucky that you have had the good fortune to recognize the problem and to do something about it. This is the first step.

2. Recognize each cynical thought Once you have realized that you can be a cynic the task is to start realizing it more often. Think of this as a bit of a mindfulness meditation. The idea is to become attuned to your own mind and thoughts and start to become aware of every cynical thought that you have. 3. Use logic to debate the cynicism Logic is a wonderful thing. Logic allows you to overcome destructive emotions and other negative things in your life. Why? Because 99% of the time the reason for your depression, anxiety, hatred or other negative feeling is illogical. If you debate the negative feeling using logic you will often find that the negative feeling gets weaker.

4. Make a definitive choice to be positive Everything good in life comes from a choice. When you make a choice to do something you do everything that you can to make that thing come about.

5. Focus on people’s qualities The last method I want to give you is the one that has worked the best for me. It is the simple art of choosing to look at people’s qualities instead of their negative attributes.

If you are a cynical person and you find that you have no friends, a bad job, poor social life and are generally unhappy then you could conclude that the results of your cynicism were bad. This is the type to avoid. If, however, you find that your cynicism helps you to avoid trouble then you can conclude that it is a good type. Make sure you learn the difference.

Since I received these incredible messages I want to explore deeper. I have to use the same part of the brain and I know that I can not find the solution when I am not able to take a distance from that part of the brain. Let me satisfy my intellectual, critical mind first. What made me write in a certain way? Is it as well caused by trauma? And in my case the answer is…………..YES

Some Broken Pieces

When I walked in Egypt I could feel the tension, it was knocking in my chest and resonating in my heart and I just knew that another explosion of violence was arriving at the surface. I know this feeling. The same old sensation from when I was very young and being very alert to avoid harm. I have to process what I feel. I have to be able to respond adequately to the situation. I have to anticipate and transform it in another direction in something positive. I know this is a very old pattern throughout my life. My critical mind is helping me by telling that I am not in danger. That I am creating my own fear. My critical mind is explaining that I always can escape by being alert. My critical mind is showing that I have a possibility for reasoning. My critical mind is knowing all the statistics of possibilities of another eruption of violence. Although I know this I have found more sustainable solutions. Following my critical mind I know that poverty, hopeless situations and exclusion give space to anger, hatred and violence.  I know it is an assumption but this is my critical mind telling me. I know that I do not need the critical mind at all. In the limitless space, the unified field, danger does not even exist. How do I know this? Since this is where I am most of the time PRESENT.

When I am in the space of Witnessing I feel indeed senseless, my mind and body are limitless, timeless and spaceless. Indeed witnessing makes me smile and grateful, which means that I am most of the time in a very blissful state. I wrote of all the moments that I was not witnessing, unconscious and the beauty of that was that I was almost immediately provided by messages from ANGELS AND MIRACLES. SIMULTANEOUSLY. Is not that a Miracle in itself? 

We have our heroes and people we learn from, since they fulfill the needs of our hearts and souls. I have many in my surrounding. Incredible, beautiful people. My husband said after reflecting on cynicism and critical thinking that he never has one example of me disliking profoundly somebody I met. I thought about it and …………… it is true. I had the pleasure to work with great people. I worked in a financial institution (50.000 people worldwide) and indeed I never met somebody that I disliked with a passion. I worked and lived in 5 different countries and travelled to more or less 55 and indeed I am puzzling and trying to find one person that I really did not like. What the heck is wrong with me???

Piece of art (beads) made by a lady in Nairobi (2 months of work)

It is the first time that I am honest about this in my writing. I was not aware.  Indeed, there is complete absent of disliking people I met.

Mirror, Mirror show me more and let me share some other details of myself. According to my husband, I am fun to be with. “You are not a clown but full of life”. “You like to share. You are generous, kind and very loyal. And……………….. above all: You make a death horse alive”. He is referring to me as a coach and healer.

The Bolero of Ravel.

I like to be surrounded with enthusiastic, passioned people and I love to create space for great talents. I work(ed) with many wonderful woman and I am not aware of once being in a state of jealousie. I “learned” that allowing others to grow is one of the greatest gifts. I did African dance, Belly dance  and Flamenco and when we performed in public it was “normal” to have our best dancers in front. Serving the audience. From the OUSIDE – IN. The idea that the audience gets, due to this, is that all dancers are incredible. In the workplace and everywhere else we can create this same kind of mindset, atmosphere and climate. I call it “The Healthy Organization”. 

There is space for all of us. We have indeed our heros and let us deeply embrace them. Let our hearts and souls be filled with their wisdom and love. We are all of that ourselves in our own unique way. Carla Bruni: when she sings that is part of me that is longing for love. Charming, sensual and …… a lot more.

Ans Markus is that part of me that creates incredible art work

Paulo Coelho is that part of me that writes the most amazing books. What a blessing to have them expressing their talents. An what about me………???

I am an incredible “teacher” without ever “teaching”. I create space full of laughter and trust and somebody once said: “you are a bubble of love”. and this is…………true!!! 

This bubble of love is a very “normal” person. I expressed a lot of myself honestly and as much as possible transparent. You learned about my doubts. You faced my critical mind. If I am able to face and embrace my demons everybody can. If I am able to “fix” the piece of broken Mirrors all of us can.  

What else is left?? 


In Nairobi – Outof Africa

 The white and black umbrella to protect the critical mind

 The Witness? Does not need Protection not even a MASK


I wrote about anger, I wrote about true emotions, feelings and experiences. As you discovered I love to share my thoughts as much as possible without  the social accepted corrections and I am aware that I made myself vulnerable and transparent. I do believe that it helps me a lot to work on my “blindness” to recognize blind-spots somewhere hidden in my undeleted files. One of the reason I do that, is based on the fact that I want to be honest, first of all with myself and last but not least towards others. I have and represent all colors paint of the painters pallet. I know, I feel and I experience them. Nothing to hide. I want to thank all people that made it possible for me to develop the deep routed confident feeling to express what is alive inside me. Thank you. I want to express myself in this way since this is for me essential in my ultimate step to freedom. I stopped pretending, stopped emphasizing and expressing myself in a social filtered way. That does not mean that I want to be rude, impolite, disrespectful and violent against others. It helps me to transform my “own” thoughts. It was and is very helpful to me to receive the help of others in my most authentic expressions. What it did for me? 


Freedom is an important “issue” since when are we really free? I am still puzzled. I receive the most incredible one-liners, post cards and it is very simple to read them, to like them, to respond to them and to send them to somebody else. The messages fill our hearts, change our thoughts and we……………. lived in peace. As in many great fairy tails. Beauty and the Beast. Snow-white and many others.

How come that there is still violence, anger, pain, jalousie and greed? Is it only in “the others”? We, you and I are so remarkable, beautiful, absolute gorgeous, full of greatness and unconditional love but……………….. the others!!! How come that I have to deal with them? Their (non)sense, their lies, their shadow parts and their violence, aggression and how can I survive them? 

I recognized the complete absence of self-awareness in many people and even more important in myself. I made very conscious the decision to bring all my parts, thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions to the surface. I discovered hateful, cruel thoughts, turbulent emotions and much more of what often is called negative. Since I allowed all of this to happen I am less sure of what is positive and negative. We all love and embrace positive but ….. What is positive?

You’re not just a particle, you’re a wave. You are a being of love, and you are love in action. Any loving thought or behavior on your behalf is the embodiment of God on earth. All else is useless. Marianne Williamson.

I love this phrase and I truly feel the richness of it, nevertheless I have some questions. What is exactly a loving thought? I want to explore beyond sending great messages to other people, since sending wonderful expressions is in my opinion very simple, although I strongly believe in the “positive” impact. I want to turn it up-side-down. A loving thought could be: “I love diversity. I embrace diversity, since I made many observations that diversity enriched my life”. 

I firmly believe that most people, not all, would agree that this is a great value and full of loving kindness. Let me explore beyond this by the following true story. I am enjoying a wonderful cup of tea, I am smiling inside, all my cells are jumping full of life and I experience the world as a great magic place. A man enters the bar, takes a seat close to me and starts talking about crime in South Africa and that this was less so during Apartheid. His voice is laud and it is difficult to avoid hearing. I have to admit that I am a great expert in filtering in what I like and dislike listening at. In this case my expertise and full awareness was needed to avoid hearing. My tea is still great, I am enjoying the small bite of a delicious piece of chocolate and all cells are still very happy. I know this since I made a full body check. The man continues and makes remarks that I do not want to repeat. Why not? Certain words, phrases are too painful to repeat. I experience them as negative. Is this a judgment?

If I observe the man do I truly have loving thoughts? I observe myself, knowing that I am observing my own thoughts and feelings. I smile, happy me, my thoughts are indeed loving and I am able to leave him alone and send him kindness. The question is why the heck do I feel that I have to send him loving thoughts? Is what I hear not what I like to listen to? I know the answer. Are my thoughts superior since they are filled with loving kindness? Is this an example of loving diversity? I ask myself. I am not so sure. I would have liked to explain the man that during Apartheid crime as well existed, even worse, that Apartheid in itself is one of the most devastating crimes ever. That would have been responding to the content. I would have been able to ask the man what needs of him are not full-filled (safety) but the question is: Why should I do that? What is triggered  in me that makes that I would like to “teach” or respond to this person? Why the heck is it that I am interested in his unfulfilled needs? Interesting experience!

I always tell during my “teaching” that we can chose our thoughts. We can make conscious decisions on what thoughts our focus will be on. We can not avoid having negative thoughts. I am not even sure whether it is my mind that creates the positive or negative thoughts. I made several observations that “my” thoughts are influenced by the collective. I experienced that it is very easy to have thoughts of loving kindness when I am at home, listening to great music, enjoying conversations with family and friends. It is more complicated, even when I do not feel victimized by circumstances when I, for example travel 11,5 hours in economy class, seated next to somebody that should have bought 2 tickets and on the other side somebody who is farting at regular moments in time. I hope you realize that this is a real life experience. I have to admit that I have to be very, I mean very, focused on practicing loving kindness. Frankly speaking everybody can survive this. Although it is not life threatening, but I hesitated  telling the person to eat a different sandwich without onion. My daughter having a “better” seat thought it was hilarious. Due to “horrible” experiences I know that I am an “expert” in directing my focus on “positive” thought processes. It is the same as knowing the direction in which you want to go. Cape Town – Amsterdam. Very simple. Nothing wrong with the other planes and directions. It could be that their destinations are even more exciting but I planned to visit my family in the Netherlands. Nevertheless I realize that this focus and direction is already very dualistic since I make a distinction between good and bad thoughts, negative and positive ones. Is there one thought of God that is not loving? Is one thought of God more positive, more negative? Which thought is that? What is love in action? Meditation, prayers, demonstrations, dialogues, debates, discussions? Is one better than the other? Is one more positive than the other? Do I know God? If I know God does everybody else knows God? If we all know God, do we know and talk about the same? If some of us does not know God should we explain the (concept) of God? I leave it to the Gods, pay for my tea and leave the bar with a smile. I did not exchange a word, at least not with the man, but what about my thoughts? Wauwww!!!

Just before I leave and step outside the bar the man says looking at me: “it is nice to share thoughts in a safe environment with like minded people”. I feel that everything inside me starts laughing. I walk and laugh for at least one hour. Indeed it is very nice to “share” with like minded people. It is hilarious. Life is a JOKE. 

Coming back to negative and positive: Are we sure we know the difference? Some people who call themselves positive are telling others the most incredible (non)sense, without hesitation. Is it positive to tell somebody who is suffering from cancer: “It might be that you do not love yourself enough since this is what the cancer is telling you”. How come this person believes or pretends he/she “knows”? Is it positive to tell people that they have to believe that they can cure themselves, that healing is based on positive thoughts and intentions only? Is this truly positive? Are we sure? I love and embrace the body – mind – soul connection. I studied Mind over Matter. I searched for answers inside and outside. I experience Miracles, I love Angels and above all leaving space for not knowing, not having all the answers, especially not towards others. In many cases I experience the messages of positivity towards others as misleading, false, untruthful and very, very negative. Why? I lived my life, explored, observed and I am still wondered by what I like to call  THE GREAT MYSTERY

If all of us would be able to unfold the ultimate truth? If all of us would visit the space beyond right and wrong doing? What if………??? Would it be boring? About what do I write? What about Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Marshall Rosenberg, Doreen Virtue, Dalai Lama and many others? What would be their message? If we all have all knowledge what will happen to us? Is our present state not just Perfect? A playground, a theater in which the drama and comedy of human kind unfolds? What if it would not exist? Is it possible as a human being, in our human body – mind to be free of dualism? I experience that this is impossible and it does not really matter. Everything in our surrounding is made of positive and negative. It is impossible to know about pleasure if we do not have any experience of pain. Everything in our surrounding has its perfect opposite. Balance, harmony between them is what allows us to be in a present state. The moment we arrive that present state the next level of dualism is mirroring and smiling at us. Caught you!! My husband has a beautiful expression: “I am still confused but at a higher level”. 

  The unknown. How to live with not-knowing? Is that the absolute FREEDOM? 

A child was born. It was difficult for the parents to find a name. The STARS did not unfold the “truth”. The parents were devastated since a name is essential in the wilderness of human kind. “Stars, stars, stars, please send us a message” the parents begged. “Let us know, please show us the true nature of this child”. No answer was given. The father prayed to God. “God, almighty, in your name fill us with joy of knowing her name”. No answer was given. The father went to the river and asked: “Flow of life, deep, deep rivers of knowledge, please help and show me what I should know”. No answer was given. The father saluted the SUN, “Great source of light please radiate the signs of your wisdom”. No answer was given. The father went to the forest and asked all wisdom trees, “Please I have to know, can you whisper what name should be pronounced”. No answer was given. The father went home, saw his wife and child and did not know what to do. He felt the tragedy of not having the signals, not having the answers, not having the truth and he looked at his new born child and for the first time he saw her and called her: LOTUS



Barack Obama

I “normally” do not express my ideas, opinions on elections of Presidents in other countries. In case of the USA it is important for all world citizens. We will all notice the impact and consequences of (non)decisions made in the USA. The examples and facts in the past made this very clear.

I have a need as a world citizen to be represented by an Intelligent, Creative, Innovative and Honest World Leader

A leader who is able to recognize the challenges for our future generations. A world leader who is able to communicate and has the ability and willingness to represents as many people as possible all over the world. A world leader that knows the conflicts and challenging areas in the world and realizes that peace processes are a number one priority. A world leader that has a profound and general view that goes far beyond the representation of a limited number of powerful and extremely rich people. A world leader who is able to understand that conversations, dialogues, sharing of ideas and appreciation of diversity is essential for the future of human kind. A world leader who is able to built bridges, connect people and bring up the best in others. A world leader that in the passed and the present shows that healthcare and education is important for all and will be a good example for the rest of the world. Healthcare and education for all means the willingness to contribute by paying taxes. The example for walking the talk is:



I have been struggling a lot with the word ENTITLEMENT. Of course I am able to look into dictionary’s what it means but unfortunately my mind is still puzzled. Living in South Africa the word entitlement is more often used by white South Africans as an expression for black South Africans who seem to be entitled to receive free housing, free medical care and are seen as being entitled to other privileged situations. When I hear certain phrases, ideas and expressions my mind starts thinking and everything in me (all senses) starts to be active and I make observations and even more frequent I find myself wondering and asking questions. I like to share some.

I feel SPICY which means that if you prefer your sleeping state, do not read. It is as with television, if you do not like the program switch it off. I “normally” write the outcomes of thoughts. I prefer right now to have it pure, transparent and in the middle of processing. 

After the suppression during Apartheid is there more equality in South Africa? Is in average, amongst others, the economic situation, much better right now for the black South African people? Is the schooling for black South African people as good as for the white and colored in South Africa? Is the medical care for black South African as well organized and well equipped as for the white South Africans? When I travel around, I observe a “few” differences. I can not help to acknowledge these differences. Most black citizens are unfortunately not having medical insurances. They are not able to pay for it and due to that they can not have access to private hospitals which are modern and fully equipped. Most of the black South Africans face difficult, challenging situations at schools. Schools needs to be safe environments. While driving through the settlements/townships I am not so sure that the schools are really safe. If I listen to the stories of the majority of the black population, there are very little good school books, no computers and teachers are not always on duty at times that they should be present for the scholars. This is not to criticise the government of South Africa and this is not to criticize the teachers either. Teachers face tremendous stressful situations and we can not expect the Government to handle all the problems immediately and all by themselves. I do not know one government who is able to do that. The only thing I want to put the attention on is that I really try to understand entitlement. Is it entitlement when rich people believe it is “normal” to fly first class/business class while traveling around the world. Is it entitlement when a small group of people firmly believe that it is “normal” that they have fortunes. Is it entitlement to expect that everything will be the same as during Apartheid for the white children at this moment and in the future? Is it entitlement to expect that people have to fit in the “superior” thinking of the privileged few people in a country?

Are we entitled to: Freedom of Speech. Never heart of: What we have to try to avoid is pouring oil on the fire?

Some politicians (everywhere in the world) are exactly doing the opposite for their own sake, their own (mis) use of power. Addicted to attention? Addicted to gossip, rumors and disagreements? Addicted to fight’s? Addicted to opposition? And it is not surprising that they blame others for what is an exact copy of their own behavior. In Psychology called Projection!!!

Nothing seems to be so misused lately as FREEDOM OF SPEECH. FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

In October 2011 on my way to Cairo I was reading an interview with Deepak Chopra in Happinez, from which I think it is a very nice, entertaining magazine. As you might know I will always refer to Deepak as my teacher which means that I feel entitled to put some remarks and commends to his interview. 

Deepak says in this article that he likes the fact that people in the Middle East open their minds and ask critical questions and look for their freedom. I have some remarks and a few comments. We as outsiders do not know whether what is happening is good or bad. We can only observe that certain things are taking place. It is neither positive nor negative. It just happens. I am not sure while knowing only a bit, not enough, whether in the Arab world people are looking for more freedom. Walking around and listening to the stories of taxi-drivers, shop owners and random people I meet, I hear that they are looking, searching for more equality. They talk about the very few very rich people and a large group of very poor citizens and the difference between the groups and their abilities to have some economic benefits. One person said: “I give a dam sh.t about freedom. I want to have more access for my children to good schools and better housing”.

My husband was participating in the deans meeting of The African Association of Business Schools and heart the same stories of all the directors from different countries. It is more about the fact that people have no access to good schools. They face corruption and do not have opportunties to progress. They observe that houses, palaces are built and they do not participate in the economic growth. Growth in itself does not create better circumstances for all. As we wrote in our book “Rethinking Growth” it is time for change.

We talk quit often about freedom and we have no clue what it is. Are there countries who respresent real freedom? In the United States we will find the highest number of prisoners with life sentences without parole. Amongst others young people. Crime and murder numbers are extremely high. It seems that the wealthiest 1% of all Americans now own more than a third of all wealth in the United States. IS THIS A JOKE??? Some other figures: In the ‘recovery’ of 2009-10, the top 1% of US income-earners captured 93% of the income growth. IS THIS TRUE???

We have no clue of the number of Native Americans who died due to homicide. Historians fight amongst each order on the cause of death, killing or smallpox?. What the heck? We know some statistics (this changes all the time) of victims in the Vietnam war. And what about all the people who died after the invasion in Iraq based on never proved evidence of the existence of nuclear weapons. Who is taking about human rights? Why is it so difficult to see our own mistakes, our own violence and aggression? Why talking about human rights of other countries when we can not reflect on what is happening in our own countries? Which countries are responsible for the biggest mess, disasters on planet earth? Who caused most of all pollution? Who is still against changes related to money making? Who is entitled in these cases? I visited once a conference in which Al Gore was talking about climate change. I loved his speech and I was wondered why he was not able to do more when he still was in charge/on duty as Vice President. While listen to the different interesting subjects I felt freezing cold. The outside temperature was wonderful but in the conference hall and everywhere else in the building the airconditioning was making over time. What about climate change? How is it possible that we talk about it and are unable to make some small changes even in the middle of the experts? Entitlement

Are we happy when London is full of rebelions? Why not? Are we pleased by all the youngster that demonstrate in the streets of New York? Why not? Are we happy with the demonstrations of the Romans, the Algerians in the streets of France? Why not? Are they fighting for freedom? Are we sure? Why is it that we have different ideas of what is taking place? Why is it that we do not realize that we are not free at all, that our observations are full of beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and cultural approaches? 

This is not about religion and yes maybe it is. It depends on how we define religion. Religions of any kind, at least the ones that I studied, Christianity, Catholicism, Protestantism, Islam, are always talking about the importance of sharing,contributing and serving communities. Religion in itself does not exist. I am sorry that I repeat myself. It is people that make their assumptions about what is right and what is wrong. It is people that make interpretations of what is written. They use the Bible, the Koran, the new technologies, research, to proof their rightness. It is the same in Hinduism. The whole concept of karma is an (interesting) belief system.

Unfortunately the concept is used to justify inequality. India has a wide spread inequality due to their caste system based on the idea of karma. Many of the exchange students at Euromed Business School from India prefer to stay in Europe, Canada and sometimes United States. Why is that? We can learn a lot from the many sages, saints in this enormous country, the incredible holy sacred places and even more from everything else as well. Nevertheless many people in India live under horrible conditions, streets are highly polluted, rivers and streets are full with garbage. It is said that India probably has more modern slaves than any country in the world. It seem to have millions of woman and girls in its brothels, often held captive against their will, until they are mentally indoctrinated enough. India’s brothels seem to be unusually violent, with ferocious beatings and sometimes even killing of the girls who are uncooperative. 

Many western people search for answers and would love to find them in India. Business Conferences are titled with interesting titels such as “East meets West”. I know since I participated. If I watch the poluted rivers, I can not help feeling very sad. I just think what kind of spirituality is this? I like to call this garbage meets a complete absence of awareness. All repetitions of mantra’s, the beautiful chants, the pujas, does not seem to have any impact on day-to-day behavior.  Many people have an vegatarian diet but I observed in India the most abusive, cruel behavior towards animals. I rather prefer to die as a bull in the bull fighting arena’s in Spain than living under these horrible conditions in India. The working environments are for most people terrible and I have a different approach to what I refer to as good leadership. The whole interpretation of karma makes that changing processes is not taking place, or not fast enough. Not due to the concepts of karma in itself, but due to the interpretations (beliefs = religion) of a small group (higher casts) of very rich people. I hope and wish that “the awaking” of many citizens in India will not cause as much death people as in in the Middle East. But what I do hope is that THEY DO NOT ACCEPT this inequality.

Latest news: India 03-10-2012

Then thousands of poor farmers demonstrate against the non-inclusiveness of economic development

Acceptance is often preached as a great achievement and indeed in general it is. Nevertheless we can not accept inequality since this causes the world problems. Many people died in Libya, Syria (30.000), Morocco and Tunisia and I really believe that this has nothing or very little to do with a fight for freedom. It is about inequality and not having access to important facilities. Capitalism is a religion as well and very well spread throughout the world. In the name of this religion many wars have taken place. It is not due to cause and effect of karma of the people in Somalia, India, Ethiopia, Eritrea that people die from starvation. It is because a small group of people feel entitled to have more (everything) and created the idea that this is “normal”.

They believe, it is due to their positive intentions, hard working, co-creation and positive belief system that they are entitled to have more than they can spend. They surround themselves with like minded individuals, spend time at the same resorts, read each others books, talk to the same “important” people and have very little clue, awareness and even more important no reasons to reflect on their own behavior and thinking. The right to be (extremely) rich is a believe = religion in itself. Is it wrong to have a few houses? Is it wrong to have millions on bank accounts? I have the feeling that many individuals think it is “normal”. A deep routed and wide spread religion. Frankly speaking I think it is not “normal”. It is because we think, believe that this is “normal”. We created a very strange economic system. We talk about what is wrong with religion to avoid talking about what really “sucks” namely the enormous gab between rich and poor. I have seen many people hard working, having extremely positive belief systems and have the most incredible intentions and yet they do not have access to the most essential needs. I am really interested to learn how many (proven statistics) of people born in dis-advantaged families were able to reach and live the American Dream? Is it 10% or more? Is it 2%? Even when it would be 10% which I do not believe, I would never fligh an airplane that has 10% change of arriving my destination. Why do we repeat this ILLUSIONS when they do not seem to work? Could it be that organizations repeat this nonsense for higher revenues for their shareholders? We seem to be blind for our own seeds of religion and entitlement, me included. We seem to find each and every time new ideas to defend inequality. What if the whole world would believe in “The law of attraction”. “The law of Karma”. “The Secret”? Why and how many books do we need to justify inequality? Most people are unable to pay for (self realizing) courses, included the ones offered by the Chopra Center. Are rich people more spiritual? Due to Karma?

Can we change this? Yes, we can try to better understand this human drama. We still believe in a material world. We separate between me and others, not realizing that the others do not exist. Why is it that we always want to change others? Why is it that we can smile when people open their mounths to express their truths, especially when it is in line with our own thinking?

My husband and I visited once Cuba. We wanted to learn more about this country while Fidel Castro was still alive. We wanted to be “in time”. We are not blind for the supression that is taking place in this country. We know the fact that people can not leave the country when they really would like, but something inside us thought that when the US would take over the country, which is possible, it could be changed in just another gambling paradise, with many expensive unaffordable hotels and it might be that nothing of the natural beauty will remain. Is that freedom? Since the actions of certain governments does not fit in our belief system we are “entitled” to create embargo’s. When I did my PhD in Spain and followed Spanish classes our Spanish teacher talked about Cuba and at one moment one of the American exchange students (Political Sciences) asked: “Is Cuba a province of Spain? since it is close to Portugal and Spain, isn’t it?  Indeed if you have never been there, if you have no clue were Cuba is situated (air travel distance from Spain – Cuba is about 7.155.67 km is equal to 4446.33 miles), not knowing the number of inhabitants (about 11.250.000), it could be that you identify  them as MONSTERS. Very dangerous people. Exclusion.

We rented a car, drove long distances and had many hitch hiking passengers. We danced salsa and talked, laughed with the most beautiful and incredible people ever. How come we did not see the danger? Are we blind? 

We know that embargo’s never worked but we are entittled to ingnore research. We exclude the so called others troughout our life. It is remarkable that we do not exclude people, nations when they fit our ideas of economic growth.

Many people (and we will call it different) are excluded due to the high contribution to be a member. Most private schools in South Africa are unaffordable. It seems very difficult to walk the talk and it is an interesting question to ask: “What answers do we have to justify this? Is this based on concepts, ideas and when it is, did we create another religion?”. 

When we serve others, it is not at all altruism, it is serving ourselves. Altruism is a by people created concept, a wide spread idea, religion, but in the unified field it does not exist. Florence Nightingale, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa never talked about others, or altruism. They just served “others”, by serving themselves. Sai MAA would say, serving others is for you, is for you, is for you. And indeed even the courses of Sai MAA cost a fortune. I feel entitled enough to express that. 

I always like to reflect on myself since this is how I learn. I feel many times entitled. I like to receive good high quality services. I love drinking clean water and bathing in clean water, I love massages, staying in 4-5-star hotels (which I can not afford on a regular basis) and I would love to fly business class. I have access to great books. Can participate in courses. Travelled around the world. Is that “horrible”? Is it “normal”? As long as I do not justify it? As long as I do not feel entitled? As long as………………….?

Observe your own thoughts, ideas, expectations (and listen to others for reflection) and try to find what you do not know and it might be that you will learn about all your entitlements

You can imagine that I prefer silence when there is a discussion going on about entitlement of black South Africans. I prefer to write about it. 

The spiciness went to sleep. I ask myself: “shall I delete this flow of words”? I am free. I am amble to delete. I can change some of the critical words and transform it in something that shows my “enlightend” spirit. I can shift my focus to all the great adventures and things I have in my life. I do not have to talk about it. I can put my head in the sand (as the ostrich)pretending that I did not see, hear and experienced.

I decided to take a taxi, driving to the biggest shopping mall in Egypt. I never saw so many new buildings, houses that are under construction. Not finished yet! Will they ever? Thousand of expensive houses and just a few people that work. I ask the taxi driver: “How many new houses are built in this area? Where are the workers? His response: “Police is watching the traffic”. Mmmmmm, okeeeeee!!!

I tried to speak in French, it might help, but nevertheless I do not get an answer that had anything to do with my questions. I am still able to produce some words in Spanish but get silence as response. I decided to give it a last try and using different words in English and while observing my voice and words, I realize that I am almost screaming. Is this what we do when we can not communicate? Starting to talk louder and louder?

Is this the reason why people scream and fight in streets?

Are they being heart? Did we listen? Did we see? Did we recognize? Did we support? Did we contribute to their well-being? Did we search with them for sustainable solutions? 

I arrive at the shopping mall, not having any clue in which part of Cairo. Nevertheless, walking around everything is familiar, Vera Mode, Zara, Aldo, nothing different. I feel a bit dissapointend. The same shops all over the world. Who says we are so different? A young man is asking me: “Are you Egyptian”? I tell him I am Dutch. For some reason he follows me. I am not sure why. Is he trying to sell me something? He is not wearing any product that could be sold. Does he want to offer some services? He tries to get my attention again by asking a question that I really do not understand. I smile. Smiling is easy and not dangerous. He still follows me. He is waiting for me when I enter and leave different shops. I like to think that this good looking young man is blowing away by my appearence. Suddenly I realize: “I am a woman”, let me act in the theater play “one day in Cairo”.

Actors: Abayomi = brings joy and is my bodyguard. My safety is guaranteed by his prensence.

My name is Ain = Priceless.

Joy and Priceless are walking in the shopping mall of Cairo. Who is she and why is she called PRICELESS? you may ask.

In one of the sages of Egypt it was mentioned that a woman would visit Cairo. She would walk and observe, knowing and observing the process of observations of what is there to be observed. She is called AIN = Priceless since she not for SALE. In the world of shopping, trade, sales and buying, this is remarkable.  Why this is? Simple: Priceless is FREE. You can not buy her. Impossible. You can not convince her since her ears will only hear your needs. She will not try to convince you since she has nothing to sell.   

Priceless IS Priceless.

Her freedom was predicted by the Stars    

All readers of stars are aware and saw the signs long before the dark nights came. Freedom is always seen as “highest value”, since we know so few and can be dangerous, especially for women in times of fear and therefor Ain is accompanied by Abayomi = Who brings joy. The perfect defense in times of danger. Stronger and more powerful than weapons and words. Priceless and Joy, what a wonderful partnership. Ain is trying to understand what people want. She is asking questions: “What are your needs, what is were you are longing for? She tries to read this in the faces. She tries to find answers in the behavior and actions. Ain realizes that she is in Cairo to be truthful, authentic and aware. She smiles and people respond by smiling. She is overwhelmed by the friendliness of most people. 

People whisper and smile: “Who is this lady and the man?. This woman and her shadow?” . They are curious. All love to learn more about them.

AIN and ABAYOMI = PRICELESS AND JOY. This is the answer!!! The answer for WORLD PROBLEMS.

I walk trough the street of for me unknown Cairo and children come and smile. Some little hands are in my hands and we walk for a while together. Abayomi is not longer Ain’s shadow. Ain and Abayomi are reunite in me. Priceless and Joy

I am back in the taxi. I bought nothing. Although I feel so connected and loving towards myself and others I end up having diarrhea. Is this since I do not love myself and others enough? Is it since I did not imagine myself as healthy? What did I do wrong? Could it be that I took: “Surrender and Release” to serious. Is it infectious? These are the kind of questions people sometimes make in our western society. 

What do we know about the great Mystery? 

It might be that having diarrhea is the best what can happen when I feel surrounded with SHIT. I might be that diarrhea is the creative expression of my system. Transformation. Why do I use the word shit? you may ask. Shit = indeed a vulgar word.  I know, but what other word can describe what I experience and observe? “The shit of pollution, the shit of inequality, the shit of misleading information in newspapers, on television, the shit of manipulation of numbers, figures, the unacceptable shit of exploitation, the shit of abusive behavior, the shit of child prostitution, the shit of misuse of power, the shit of starvation, the shit of demagogy, the shit of all death’s caused by terror, violence and aggression, the shit of………………..

No wonder that I release (my own) shit on the toilet. 

I hope that many of “the changes” around us will not make more victims and deaths. That children are protected and be able to play their gorgeous plays. That they learn from us to be devoted to love. 


In this kind of difficult complex situations in the Arab world, it is even more  important to act responsible and to be careful with the so called Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Expression. 

My mother used to have the following expression: SPEECH IS SILVER, SILENCE IS GOLD.

I apologize to each and every one for hurting your feelings

I hope and know that the mysterious wisdom unfolds





This post is about ANGER and other emotions, feelings that we like to fight. I have to admit that I feel that I have the right to talk about this subject since I know a lot about anger. I call myself a specialist in this field.

The reason I want to write about this subject is caused by the fact that I received in the last week 2 messages about anger, fear and violence.

One shared by Deepak Chopra:

A mind, blocked by fear, anxiety, anger, resentment

Or suffering of any kind

Is not able to experience expanded awareness

The other one by the Dalai Lama:

Like anyone else, I too have the potential for violence; I too have anger in me. However, I try to recall that anger is a destructive emotion. I remind myself that scientists now say that anger is bad for our health; it eats into our immune system. So, anger destroys our peace of mind and our physical health. We shouldn’t welcome it or think of it as natural or as a friend.

I reflected on it and as I said I feel specialist in this field. I responded. I even said when I responded to the Dalai Lama that I would write in my blog about it. I like to keep my promises especially to the Dalai Lama.

As long as I know, I was puzzled by emotions and feelings. Not confused since this is a very different emotion. Trust me this is the expert speaking.

I found it very interesting to discover, to explore and to find out the deeper meaning of human emotions and feelings. It was not that difficult for me since it felt it as my life purpose. I can imagine that many of us will follow the path of the intellect. They have to understand, to analyze, and to investigate in order to reach a level beyond concepts. Although I love this approach, it is not my primary response, or impulse for learning. I feel, deep undiscovered emotions, fields, deep, deep rivers, oceans that want to be discovered. I use the intellect to help me, but nevertheless I learn from experiences. I trust my intuition mostly without hesitation and this “wisdom” is created by senses, feelings and direct experiences.

Since this is what I feel “my” path; I never felt I had to walk away from the so called negative, wrong and bad emotions. I learned that everybody, nobody excluded, has them.

I observed that especially in cultures in which emotions as anger and violence are seen as negative, violence and aggression are more frequently (hidden or open) present. I learned that in business environments in which emotions are seen as weakness and vulnerable, (hidden) violence is seen as part of the game. What I observed I used to call: “Under the table aggression and violence”. I will describe it as follows to make it more clearly. You enter a meeting and immediately feel that something is going on. Instead of trying to find out what it is, it more often will be completely neglected since it needs courage to bring it up. The masks of tolerance, friendliness are carefully put on the faces and we pretend that everything is going well since doubts, senses, feelings and emotions are seen as less important or even worse not important.

I feel that pretending is the same as lying. It is not truthful and dishonest and I was able to feel the sickness of it in my body. I learned to transform this by cleansing my own system by being aware of my part in the whole. 

I felt that is important to give attention to what is alive in me and I was willing to listen to what others wanted to share about themselves.

Before you think that I feel most of the time angry or violent, this is not the case. To be very honest I feel more often completely in peace, harmony and balance. When I was in Arizona and spending some time with Clay Miller he mentioned that in his dreams my true nature is courageous kindness and to leave all polite excuses apart, I am most of the time filled with Courageous Kindness. I still know that as a child I never felt negative or had negative thoughts about anybody. I do not want to make myself a better person but it is the truth. I was not aware of anybody that I would call mean, horrible or something else. I played with joyful pleasure and the world opened to me in the most awesome ways. The first memories of anger arrived when I was about 13 – 14 years old.

I still know that it was triggered by dogma. I felt on a very personal level the outcome of dominant dogma’s and ideologies. My mother turned into a witness of Jehovah when I was about 6 years old. It did not change me a lot although I never believed in a God that was all the time watching carefully to punish when you did something wrong. I loved my mother and I tried to understand why this religion was important to her. The first time I really felt angry was about the fact that my mother explained us that we would never reach Paradise since non witnesses of Jehovah are excluded. My mother used to express the following: “if you love your children more than you love me (God) you do not deserve me”.

All the ideas and consequences made me at certain moments in time very angry. I found most witnesses of Jehovah (very) stupid. When my mother died, we (my sisters and I) followed the witness of Jehovah rituals and while I was looking around I thought: “I am so glad that I will never, ever end up with these people in Paradise, I rather go to hell”.  In all these years there was little (or no) space for another interpretation. I felt completely abandoned and excluded. I grew up with the idea that the world would end in 1975. Even my visits to the dentist could wait. I know that my mother wanted to see all of us in Paradise and it must have been very difficult for her to recognize that especially I never wanted this. 

Ark van Noah

I love my mother and there is nothing to forgive. It made me aware of different aspects of religions and spirituality. I was not able to follow the strict rules of the witnesses of Jehovah since I created a very different approach but I learned from them. I was a rebellion. I loved Che Guevara, which was “normal” at this time since many people followed his ideas. On one of my walls was a huge picture, drawn by a friend, of Che and on the other wall an enormous picture of Jimmy Hendrix. “Born to be wild”.



Wauwww, he is gorgeous. Is not he? When I lived in France I called my motorbike Ernesto. What would Sigmund Freud have said about that? He was a medical doctor who saw poverty, slavery and followed his path. What is right and what is wrong? In “our” world poverty, slavery, human trafficking still exsist. It might be that what Che did was “wrong” and it would not be my solution. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind Mahatma Gandhi but I like to give him some credits. 

Hasta siempre Comadante

From a very young age I received sayings of Jiddu Krishnamurti and it helped me to discover myself. Whenever I felt the “unknown” I came across something Krishnamurti had said. The contrast could not have been bigger. My favorite book was Siddhartha from Hermann Hesse. The only desire I had was to be lightened but I called it different.

I filled my soul with sayings of Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa and I wanted to be like them and I experienced that I was unable. I LOVE them and I LOVE to be me. 

I spend many years to learn about bad, wrong, anger, fear and I was surprised that I still could be furious. I blamed myself since I knew instinctively that it was me and nobody else, but I never denied my feelings or walked away from them. 

I suppose I was fighting my own demons.

I learned about the Goddess Kali and I was very grateful that I learned that even a Goddess could be so angry that she was able to destroy the whole universe. 


It was Lord Shiva who sacrificed himself, so that it did not happen. It might be that I always wanted a husband to sacrifice himself so that I too could be destructive.

Lord Shiva represents the passive potential of creation and Kali is his Shakti. “

When mother Durga became very angry she turned into mother Kali to kill 2 demons. After killing them and drinking their blood she began to act out in anger. After hearing from the rest of the demi gods that no one could calm her and control her, lord Shiva came. He laid down on the ground and when she saw that, she was stepping on her husband and she took out her tongue. That image of her is widely known.

What I like about the Hindu Gods is that they are very Human. They are angry, jealous and at certain moments in time very destructive. It is not that difficult to feel related to them. Although I am not a Hindu I like the metaphor of Durga– Kali.

I can be Durga or Kali. I know this and it does not make me anymore afraid. I embraced them and set them free.

I am no longer filled with guilt or shame. I know it is deep routed inside me and the moment I do not blame others, it is nothing more than an emotion, which is a motion in time. Anger is neither a friend nor an enemy. It is simply in me and it is not that difficult to fully embrace it and to look (to be) into the face of anger and fear. It is not just in others. It is in me and I am able to deal with it. I do no longer judge it and it made me free. I still have the demons since we can never completely win. Why should we fight them?

I refer to my last post I wrote about Rick Santorum and I still know that I felt very angry. It was not to defend the Netherlands. It was just anger since my need for honesty, integrity and evidence was not fulfilled.

I really wanted to call him “illiterate” since this is how I wanted to write about him. I did it on purpose. It was not that I felt innocent or just blinded by anger. I just wanted to write something negative about him. I know this since on the sideline of my writing I saw publicity of the new non-violent communication book of Marshall Rosenberg who almost shouted: “Explain what is alive in you, talk about your needs” and I neglected that.

I think of what Khrisnamurti ones said: “I have the feeling that I for 40 years talked to the deff”. 

It might be that you think that I was afraid that Rick Santorum would try to save all the old people in the Netherlands that wear bracelets with: “I do not want euthanasia” but I have to admit that I was never afraid that he would try to protect our oldies, since I knew that he was lying. He never believed himself what he told others. Despite Marshall and all I learned from him I wanted to make Rick Santorum ridiculous.

That is how anger works. It is anger that expresses itself in different forms and structures and it does matter and we have to feel fully responsible for it. We have to admit it, be aware of it and it will make ourselves free. By closing doors and windows because we learned that it is bad to have “negative” emotions we can never, ever clean them up. 

What about Rick Santorum? It might be that I like him while talking about his family, children, friends and expressing what is alive in him. 

What I do not like is what he on purpose does: The creation of FEAR since this is how most violence and wars start. It is the misuse of power based on false information, statistics and numbers. The poor people in his audience that believe that GOD left the Netherlands. It is shocking how easy it is to mobilize and manipulate the mass. 

“We have to fight the communist, we have to declare WAR to Iraq since their nuclear weapons will destroy us and let us fight the Islam since it is taking over the world. And do not forget China they take over OUR market. We can not accept this. We want them (many people) to buy our stuff. Let us close “our” boarders”. 

The pruducts from China (made in China) are more in the perception of our world leaders than how China handles HUMAN RIGHTS

What about different behaviour, a very different world view and focus from our world leaders? 

Lao Tzu


I feel connected to Odyssey and the journey he made. I am on my way to Ithaka and I know that I have to face my own demons. I feel grateful that I brought them alive and embraced them, since how can we ever live our lives in light when we do not allow and willing to clean the dust, the nightmares, the darkness and the shadow?

Foto ruth renkee

Never fear shadows, they simply mean there’s a Light somewhere nearby.

Ruth Renkee

We can never be completely in light when we do not bring our darkness to the surface. As long as we deny that it is part of us ( and not just part of others) we will be alcoholics that do not recognize our addiction.


As you set out for Ithaka

hope the voyage is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians and Cyclops,

angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body.

Laistrygonians and Cyclops,

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them

unless you bring them along inside your soul,

unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.

May there be many a summer morning when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you come into harbors seen for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind—

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you are destined for.

But do not hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you are old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you would not have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.


Summit Brazil


I am in Rio since the United Nations summit on Sustainability is taking place over there. My husband will be very busy, attending one presentation after the other and I ……… I will be very busy as well exploring Rio de Janeiro.

I am in a hotel in Ipanema, which is one of the most beautiful beaches of Rio de Janeiro. I feel very grateful to be her.

I am looking around and enjoying what I observe. Beautiful women and being honest, very attractive men. “How is it possible that Brazil seemsto have such incredibly beautiful and handsome people”, I ask myself.

The weather is beautiful, nice temperatures and I am showered with a lot of sunshine. They call this winter? What about their summers?

I am aware that in this amazing country and in this city one of my most favourite authors Paulo Coelho is born. I am thinking of him and smile.

I was born in The Netherlands and I love Amsterdam. If anybody would ask me to come up with a word that represents Amsterdam I would say without any hesitation: “FREEDOM”. The breath of fresh air that is filling each and every cell with what I would call FREEDOM. Amsterdam is the best place for the development of what I would call SOUL.

The word for Rio de Janeiro would be: “SENSUAL” or is it “SEXUAL” and what does it mean? I walk on the beaches and enjoy watching the sceneries. I talk to people that I cannot understand. Even my few words of Spanish that I still know do not help me to communicate. It does not mean that I cannot do anything, of course I can, I smile, smile and smile.

The days that Walter (my husband) can spend with me we rent a bike and cycle on our way to Copacabana between skateboarders, runners, walkers and other bikes and God knows what else.

I am drinking fresh coconut and in the evenings the Brazilian speciality Caipirinha. I feel drunk after one class but who cares? I am in Rio. I want to express myself very clearly: I LOVE RIO.

I think I ordered some specific food but for one or the other reason I always get something different. I do not bother at all. I enjoy and think of what I might have said and know that it is completely unimportant. I visit some of the tourist attractions.

Since I am unable to have profound dialogues with people I am reflecting on some insights and thoughts. It seems that there are still undiscovered tribes deep in the rainforest of Brazil. I am thinking that it might be the best thing that could happen not to discover them as Columbus did. Why not? I am asking myself. I am reflecting on what has happened in the past. We discover something, or we think we do, and from the perspective of superiority we influence immediately other people habitats and behaviour. It might be that we bring our illnesses and diseases into their environment and their civilizations will not last. Is this a problem? I ask myself. Since I am not having the answer, it is a problem. What would I tell them? It must be even more difficult than trying to make myself understandable in Portuguese. Are they talking a language? What if we would be able to communicate with them, what do I share with them. Is it possible for me to explain about the Netherlands? That our capital is Amsterdam for instance.

 If they ask me what is special in Amsterdam, would it be possible for me to explain that we had famous painters, that we have the Rijksmuseum, the van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank house?

If they would ask me: Who is Anne? What do I tell them? How can I ever explain what caused her death? Every reason seems to be unreasonable. Who is willing to kill a young girl? I do not have an idea!


I still know that I read for the first time her famous diary. I still know the unbearable pain that caused what I read in my heart. I still know that I locked myself up in my own fantasies. I still know how many possibilities I created to let her escape. It seems that Anne never left me. She is very alive next to me in Brazil. I am not Jewish but the imprint of what happened to her and so many others could not be bigger or deeper. I firmly believe that from that moment on I decided never to “belong” to something. That from that moment on, I, on a (un) conscious level, never, ever committed myself completely to an idea, ideology, religion, or political party.

How much I wanted and I am sure we all would like to have the magic stick to bring Anne again alive. “Anne, please wake up. Anne it was just a nightmare. Anne do not be afraid, it is not true, nobody would ever do this to you or to anybody else. Anne, please listen, we all love you and we will always protect you. Anne come, wake up. Anne you know, it never happened”.

I will never fully understand what happened inside me. I am crying now and I do not know why. Pain, unbearable pain, tears are running while writing this. Nothing changed inside me. After all the meditation courses, the books I read, the best teachers I had classes from. Inside me the unbearable pain of evil still exist.

Paulo Coelho is telling us to say no to evil and I agree. I spend many days, weeks, and months in life to accept everything as it is and I have to admit that I am (still) not very successful. It is not about acceptance, it is about what our next steps will be. I always wanted to be a kind of new Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi or the Dalai Lama but I am not. My path is different. I know that deep, deep inside me is a voice, that wants to express the pain. There is a part in me that represents the warrior, the rebellion, the voice of the ones that are not heard. Wherever I go the forgotten people are on my side. They are part of me. I can dress up in the most expensive dresses, being surrounded with the most intelligent, creative, great people but I know and I am surrounded with the circumstances of many other people. I know of mothers that tried to save their babies while trying to reach the beach of Gran Canarias but died due to unsafe overloaded boats full of refugees. I am aware of the people that have burn marks all over their bodies due to the fact that they have no electricity and use paraffin for cooking and how dangerous this is, since it can explode. I know that there is human trafficking. Young children are forced into prostitution. I will never be able to neglect this. I will never be able to say: I did not know. I just know. It has nothing to do with fear, nothing to do with guilt. It is not the addiction to drama. It is not. It is just the other part of me. If you shake hands with me, you touch the hands of the people that live in shelters. If you tell me my eyes are beautiful, just know you see the beauty of yourself and of all the people that live in horrible circumstances.

I remember a song that I always liked since I could have been this girl. Even when I would be surrounded with glamour I would be still the gypsy, the hermit, the nobody.

Where do you go to my lovely

My life was full of surprises and miracles. I was never able to be focussed on just one aspect of life. Some of us know that they will be great politicians, authors, painters, musicians and I ??? I am alive. I never wanted to be somebody, since I felt I was. I always knew I am. I am an observer who observes, knowing that I observe. I know I live my own fantasies wherever I go. I do not belong. I do not desire. Anne is walking next to me in Brazil. She is smiling. Anne you are free. Dance Anne, dance, this is Brazil.  Anne, I will celebrate Carnival in Rio, with you. We will dance. You will be the dancing queen. Anne we are free.




My attention was brought to a YouTube conversation with Donald Trump about the birth certificate of President Obama. I thought that I could not believe my ears. I felt that I had to respond to the interview. I found the discussion completely out of place, while in the opinions of many there is a world crisis.  A majority of people lives in horrible living conditions, health delivery functions badly in many places or does not even exist and many people have little or no access to education. People are killed in many parts of the world for bizarre reasons (if any) and the discussion during the elections in the US is about the birth certificate of the President.

I thought: Who the heck is interested in this?

I think it is very disrespectful for all of us who are concerned with the world to talk about this kind of non-issues in the world. I can imagine that people have different worldviews on how to approach them but a birth certificate has nothing to do with it. This is indeed a kind of old-fashioned tea party conversation of people that have no clue what is going on.

I spoke last week with some students from the Netherlands that did their internship in a hospital in South Africa. I listened carefully to their stories and experiences. Some of what they went trough was very difficult for them. A child had serious burn marks since the parents threw hot water over its face. The bandage was very dirty and this is as you can imagine very dangerous with this kind of injuries. The bandage was still not renewed after 4 days, since doctors and nurses simply do not have the time to change it, due to other serious accidents and “stuff” that they have to deal with on a daily basis.

Indeed after listening to these youngsters trying to understand and to come up with some kind of solutions, it is absurd to hear the discussion of a birth certificate of the President of the USA.

Donald Trump said something about the Chinese that take over all the important activities in the US and I was wondered: Who is responsible for this? I mean: I really never asked companies to have their products made in China. I asked my husband, children, relatives, friends and random people in the streets. Did you ask organizations to have their “stuff” produced in China? Nobody, and I really mean nobody, responded with YES.

The reason that corporations went to China is due to the fact that the production processes of their products were much cheaper. The production processes are cheaper due to low “salaries”. Many of us would call this modern (legal?) slavery.

It seems that many organization do not have a problem with the exploitation of people especially when it is far from home.

The so-called challenges we are confronted with are caused by unsustainable decisions of many corporations and in particular in the financial world. When the communist countries “collapsed“, the capitalistic view over-emphasized on shareholder value only. The “normal” fundaments for serious (financial) government were and are still completely ruled out.  Essentials of risk management are neglected.

The world challenges nowadays are caused by the enormous economical and social differences between rich and poor. The causes of the main problems in the world are due to the modern world religion: the Capitalistic World View, every man for himself, and God for us all.

Before you think that I am a communist, I am not. Not that I have anything against Marxism, which is different from what was practiced in most communist countries anyway. Oh yes, I ignore China here that is still a communist country. I was able to observe many times the consequences of unlimited self-enrichment. The heroes in our modern world are soccer players, rugby players, baseball players, movie stars and some other celebrities. Successful is defined as: being rich and famous. Is that what we want?

I do not have anything against Donald Trump and I respect him in many ways.  I do not know him personally and from what I learned about him by stories in newspapers and television it seems to be a hard working and disciplined person. My children even thought it was hilarious that I could forecast all his decisions in a television program “the Apprentice”.    Nevertheless, I would like to send him on a well-deserved holiday/retirement.

I am always flabbergasted by the “profound” knowledge of the Republicans. Rick Santorum was warning the US citizens for situations like in the Netherlands, since he “knows” that our elderly people are forced into euthanasia. The fact is that Rick Santorum has a lot of money but obviously very little brains. I ask myself who is paying him? Who believes that this illiterate person could ever be able to lead a nation? I know that this is not a great example of non-violent communication but my need for respect and truth is not fulfilled.

After the whole issue of the birth certificate of President Obama I was puzzled with the deeper meaning of “nationality”. Why is Donald Trump convinced that he is an American? Does he belong to the Indigenous Americans? We learned that in 1492 Columbus discovered America, what I think is very strange, since it existed before that “discovery” and Indigenous Native Americans lived already in what we now call the US.

Many of them died due to illnesses brought by the European immigrants and due to their murderess violence and aggression. Are the Native Americans talking about the birth certificate of President Obama? Is in their eyes Donald Trump an American?

I was as well surprised by the fact that Nicolas Sarkozy in his position as president spoke about the fact that France had too many immigrants. Excuse me? Was he not born out of Hungarian Immigrants? And I thought his wife is from Italian origin. I am not trying to make them ridiculous. I just try to understand why and how people can be completely BLIND? Why is it that people take their own situations for granted and refuse to recognize the needs of others? Do they feel superior?

The world is in need of great leaders, conscious leaders; those who are able to change the prevailing paradigm. We need visionaries that speak the truth, are honest and have a high level of integrity. Leaders who listen to others, who like to include others, who are willing to learn from others and who are able to understand that each and every country is interconnected on planet earth.

I wish and hope that President Obama will be able to continue his work since it is impossible in such short period of time to deal with the disastrous heritage from the former political (Republican) leaders.


I hope and wish that every child will have a (WORLD) birth-certificate which means that it will feel protected (by all of us), has food, clean drinking water, shelter, and will experience our universal unconditional love.

Heal the HEART from pain.  Snatam Kaur